The world needs more infographics. If you’ve used a dating website, created a profile and sought partners, only to discover that similar political values and a shared love of a particular genre of movies tells you nothing about whether you’re sexually compatible in the real world, this diagram may be able to help.

Imagine this diagram as a dynamic part of your online dating profile. You create it by answering a simple quiz, which measures your sexual personality and lifestyle across 5 categories. Once completed, the data generates a radar chart and adds it to your profile. You can change the values and thus the diagram at any time as your life changes.

It provides an overview of you as an individual without detailing any of the specific characteristics of your sexual personality or identity that are more private and not usually discussed on a first date.

If you use OK Cupid, for example, you’ll be familiar with the way it allows you to compare your values (as expressed through the questions you’ve answered) with those of a potential match. It displays a bar graph in each user’s profile detailing their personality traits based on these answers, such as ‘more outgoing’ or ‘less spiritual’ (than the average).

Imagine that when you view the comparison of your respective answers to questions you could see this diagram, with a translucent layer of their data superimposed over a translucent layer of your data, thus illustrating the similarities and differences in your sexual personalities and lifestyles.

Being able to see and compare these values would facilitate a better understanding of a potential match’s sexual wants and needs. If you have significantly different libidos, for example, this may indicate a lack of compatibility.

sexualitydiagram the sexual personality and lifestyle diagram


  • Orientation: 1 = completely hetererosexual, 5 = completely homosexual
  • Libido: 1 = wants sex occasionally, 5 = wants sex daily
  • Activity: 1 = has sex occasionally, 5 = has sex daily
  • Kinkiness: 1 = completely vanilla, 5 = very kinky
  • Relationships: 1 = completely monogamous, 5 = actively polyamorous or promiscuous

0 scores

  • 0 orientation = asexual
  • 0 activity = celibate
  • 0 relationships = does not pursue relationships

The above chart shows the personality and lifestyle of a monogamous heterosexual person who is average in terms of their kinkiness and activity, but whose libido is higher than their activity suggests. This could indicate that their current social circumstances restrict their sexual lifestyle, such as working long hours.

I’ve tried to make the chart as flexible and open to different sexualities as possible. 0 scores allow for asexuals, and the chart is as sex / gender / identity / orientation / behaviour neutral as I can conceive it. Some people are sexually active but do not pursue ongoing relationships, for example, and the chart can represent this (and distinguish this from the behaviour of the polyamorous, who may have multiple ongoing relationships).

Provenance and copyright

The chart draws on the Kinsey scale of sexual orientation and on another radar chart courtesy of the forums on AVEN. It is, however (and to the best of my knowledge), predominantly new and is thus a copyrighted work. Reproduction and use is allowed based on my existing Creative Commons license for non-profit purposes and an acknowledgement is required.

This is a draft version of this chart. I’m publishing this post to obtain public feedback to enable me to refine it. I plan to present it to various sites with the intent that the final version could be purchased as a commercially licensed product.

the sexual personality and lifestyle diagram

2 thoughts on “the sexual personality and lifestyle diagram

  • 14 February 2013 at 10:05 pm

    I think that would be really valuable. I just hope the underlying prudishness of our society would not preclude dating websites from making this available to customers. Any bit of extra information people can use when seeking compatible mates that helps to streamline the process would be pretty damn useful I would have thought.

    • 18 February 2013 at 4:35 pm

      Someone dislikes this comment? WTF?


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