I carry my wallet in the back pocket of my jeans. It gets sat on every day and the cards bend and eventually split. Occasionally I need to order a replacement credit card. I did so recently to replace my ANZ card, which was splitting apart.

I logged on to the online banking, made the request, and waited. And waited. It took an unusually long time to arrive. I was about to chase it up with them but then it arrived. I then had to go online to activate it, which is when I saw a message from them. This is what it said:

Thank you for your recent request to Order Replacement Cards.

Unfortunately, as you have an active credit card upgrade offer on your account, we have not been able to action your request. Please call us on 13 22 73 (International callers +613 9683 7043) within 3 business days to arrange for your request to be actioned.

If you do not call us back within 3 business days, we will cancel the credit card upgrade offer and perform your request to Order Replacement Cards.

Kind regards,
Cards Maintenance


ANZ marketing has become increasingly annoying, intrusive and desperate in the past few years. Every six months or so a spam marketing letter arrives offering me an upgrade on my credit card. I don’t need this, and have not asked for it, so the letters go in the bin.

In the past year or so I’ve received a couple of ‘follow-up’ calls from them reminding me of the letters and asking why I have not responded. I interrupt their annoying, time wasting, calls and simulated social interaction with a blunt ‘what do you want?’ This puts them off their script then I tell them to shove it. Their staff genuinely don’t seem to understand that I may not care about, or want or need, what they’re offering. What I do care about is not being interrupted at work with intrusive phone calls about things I have not requested and do not want.

The last time this happened was a bit over a month ago. This time the letter arrived with a new platinum card included. They are so desperate for me to upgrade that they made and sent the card. All I had to do was activate it and cut up the old one. So I cut up the new one and threw it in the bin. Then a couple of weeks after came the call, which I dealt with in my usual manner.

The message from Cards Maintenance is astonishing. They decided to delay the service I had deliberately requested by three business days. They decided instead that their unwanted intrusive marketing strategy was more important than my clearly stated needs. The message here is clear: fuck your needs as a customer. Our corporate greed is more important.

This is unacceptable. It is a complete failure of customer service. It is a form of corruption. It is a breach of contract. It is negligent and incompetent. After many years as a customer it is about as much as I am willing to tolerate from ANZ and their appalling customer service. Their days having me as a customer are numbered…

ANZ customer service is a contradiction in terms

4 thoughts on “ANZ customer service is a contradiction in terms

  • 7 May 2016 at 8:14 pm

    I’ve been an ANZ customer for my whole life, back to when it was the ES&A Bank. I have had a few issues with the bank over the period, but nothing that wasn’t fairly easier sorted out with only one unpleasant experience that, after I wrote a letter accusing the bank of homophobia, in the mid eighties, was dealt with to our satisfaction at a higher level. Hmm, must write a post about the matter. My retired partner has been trying to deal with a matter with his superannuation company and compared to anything we have experienced with banks, it has been a nightmare. Less serious with the super company was that I ended up as being named as Beulah.

  • 9 May 2016 at 10:26 am

    Seriously… ING Direct are the best bank… the benefits far outweigh the negatives. I could go on, but I’m sure you can find out the details :) Imoved from ANZ to ING about 6 years ago… I cannot fault them.

  • 9 October 2016 at 5:04 pm

    Forget the Commonwealth then because they employ similar tactics. Even within their face to face interactions staff are told to gather intelligence so that the customers personal/financial circumstances, habits and aspirations are recorded. This is done so that the customer can be targeted and marketed to.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *